Leaning into Joy

     A typical [school] day for our house goes something like this, Mike is up at 4:30, lately I've been trying to squeeze in a few extra minutes and sleep until a little before 5 while he's getting ready and then we study our scriptures for an hour. The house is quiet, the kids most days are still soundly sleeping. No interruptions, just time to study and talk and start out the day with the most important thing. Mike leaves just after 6 to teach seminary.

   [I personally think Mike is incredible with the youth. He loves them so much, he loves the scriptures so much and he loves teaching so it's the ideal calling for him really. It certainly is time consuming and tests him daily. Some mornings he'll call right after seminary saying, I don't think they care, I don't think anyone listens, someone else would probably be better for them. I give the best advice I can and laugh after he gets off the phone because it's like motherhood. I love that he gets a little glimpse of motherhood each morning!] 

     Today, after Mike left I started making eggs for the kids. Kade was super concerned about his state testing and part of the advice from NED was to eat a good breakfast so we couldn't let him down. Kids get up about 6:20, we eat breakfast, pack lunches, do hair, brush teeth, load backpacks and are out the door for the bus by 6:50. It's a very rare day that the little boys are still asleep past bus time. I count an extra blessing on the days that happens which just so happened to be today! I run downstairs for a quick workout and ride the bike for about 20 minutes and read a book while I ride. I don't read very often, I love to read but feel like there's never time for it. There's a book I've been wanting to read lately so I decided I'd make it work somehow. It's a win win cause it encourages me to actually ride the bike and babies are still asleep (today) so I don't feel like I'm neglecting anyone! 

     Back to the kitchen for round 2 with the little boys. They eat while I clean the kitchen, unload dishes, sweep for the 1st of about 5 times in a day. Today I'm on my A game and the house was basically cleaned up and ready by 8:30. (Yes, I'm aware that baskets of toys will get dumped out everywhere and I'll clean up again several times but I'm weird like that and like to start with a clean house.) I get a few more chores done, laundry started and taxes filed! We invite Wes to the water park with us and we're out of the house heading for the water park for their 11am opening. 

     I write about this typical day because I felt SO much joy all day and then it got me thinking...

   There have been so many of those moments where life just feels so so sweet. There's been nothing too extraordinary, just the basics but some days I just love the basics! I'm a Mom. That's kinda how life goes. Some days I feel like a million bucks other days I feel like the cleaning lady. In either situation, it's all apart of being a Mom and I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with my children. When I take a few hours out of the day to take the kids to the water park I battle the thoughts of, I should be cleaning house, I should be grocery shopping or paying bills but actually, no, my children are my work also. "They are not a distraction from other work, they are the most important work!"
     Some days life feels too "perfect" and I'm just sure that something bad is about to happen. Generally the bad thing that I think will happen has something to do with someones health because that seems like the most likely possibility. It's totally irrational but sometimes those thoughts just come creeping in. They sound something like this for me: Life is too good. You're too happy. It's not supposed to be this easy. This is just prep for something bad that is coming. You're getting a glimpse of heaven on earth because it won't always be this way. On and on.
    A few months back I read the book "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene Brown and man did I love it! I loved it for so many reasons but she described what she called "leaning into joy." I won't do it justice but I remember one of my favorites parts like this, she set up this scene: A family just spent Christmas Eve with extended family. Dinner, gift exchange, laughing, just the most fantastic evening. The family gets into the car to drive home, they're singing Christmas Carols together and the Mom turns around to look at her family and is SO happy, they had such a fun time together, it's Christmas Eve, everyone is happy, this moment is perfect...Then she asks, What happens next? If you're like me, the answer without a doubt was 'car wreck'. But WHY??? Anytime things seem so good, why do we have to ruin it with a bad thought? This is SO me. I wouldn't say I live in fear, I don't describe myself as a pessimist but sometimes life seems so good that there's got to be something bad coming, right?
Wrong. She talks about "leaning into the joy," letting the good things happen. Don't ruin it with a bad thought. So this is where I am. I'm working on leaning in.
   There are SO many moments in my life where I feel overwhelmed with the sweetest feelings, I feel incredibly happy, extremely blessed,  I feel like life is perfect and it is easy and I couldn't possible love my children any more and I'm still madly in love with my husband. I feel so blessed to be a Mom, a Mom who gets to stay home and witness all the firsts and the funny learning moments and take my kids to the park or to get a happy meal if I feel like it. All these moments I feel overwhelmed with joy and sometimes I even fight back tears of extreme happiness. I'm incredibly blessed. It's everyday life but it feels so good! And guess what? That's part of the plan. Our Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us and it's not called the plan of happiness for no reason. It's ok to be happy all the time. It's ok to feel extreme amounts of joy on a daily basis, and it doesn't have to mean something bad is coming. "The plan" was designed for happiness. We've been given a road map, the scriptures, we have commandments and Prophets. We weren't put on this earth to figure it out on our own. I truly believe that as we follow the guidance and counsel we've been given, we will feel happy.
   Now that's not to say that there are no bad days, hard things, tears, trials and days I want to "clock out" 15 minutes after the kids get off the bus because the fighting hasn't stopped. Bad things, sad things and hard things happen but not because I felt too happy last week that I need a trial to even out the score. The Lord has a perfect plan that I trust in completely. Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe that I need all my life experiences to learn and grow from. He's completely aware of me and what I need and so because of that, I'm going to LEAN IN!
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Just a few of the moments that I look back on and feel like my heart may burst. That's probably the reason I take SO many pictures of the random, everyday things. I don't want to forget the way any of it made me feel.

 This snow day was complete perfection! A day we were all "stuck" in together and we didn't have to worry about getting to chores or things we "should" be doing.

Baking the snow day away. Our kitchen is always busy! 

        This dreamer who posed herself for dance pictures

               Donut run because they asked and I love saying yes!

                 Mike training his bird dog

                       3rd Grade Field trip

                                 Easter Sunday April 2017

Little Miss Sunshine

From the moment she was born we just knew she was Little Miss Sunshine. She brings happiness and the biggest smile to every situation. She's a peacemaker. She's kind. Her heart might be pure gold. She's a dreamer. She dreams of ballet. She dreams of singing. She NEVER stops making noise wether it be singing or humming. She knows when you're feeling sad, sick or just plain having a bad day and when that happens there is always, ALWAYS and offer to do a dance. "Can I do a dance for you?" is probably the most common phrase from her. Dancing makes her happy so it should make YOU happy. She still gives out hugs and kisses at random. Bree is just plain happy. We love this girl to pieces. She never had the terrible two's or any age for that matter. She's easy. I'm sure teenage years I'll be singing a different song.

Bree says more funny things than any of our children. She truly is a blonde, and not just hair color. That makes Mike & I laugh but also ask ourselves, should we be worried? Every boy seems to love the blonde! HaHa

Bree came home from school February 1st SO excited and said to me, Mom, tomorrow is Otter's Day! It took me a moment to run through what the heck she might be talking about and then it dawned on me- OH! No Bree. It's Groundhogs Day! I laughed SO hard. Every Holiday is a big thing for this little girl so she wanted to go all out and make a craft for the big day. Even I got excited about Groundhog's day just listening to her. Later that evening, Bree looked like she had a spark of genius hit her and she said, "OH I KNOW! Let's make a cookie dough filled cookie!!!" I couldn't handle myself and I laughed until tears were streaming down my face. I don't know what got into me but her excitement level was through the roof. It was like she put her entire heart and soul into this idea and it was funny and adorable to me. Mike kept giving me the look like, you mean Mother, stop laughing. But I couldn't. After I assured her that you will never put dough into the oven and take it out when it won't be a baked cookie she thought of a plan. "You can make a hole in the bottom of the cookie and stuff it with dough." True. You could do that. Maybe you're onto something Bree. 

Valentine's day was another holiday she could't wait for. She worked on her Valentine's for a long time before the big day. We put final touches on the night before. She made sure each card matched exactly what she'd want to say to that person. She took every saying to heart. What if they actually call me!? She even wrote I Love You on a little boys card. I should be worried but she's not boy crazy yet so I was ok with it. I thought it was adorable. What a lucky little boy to get that message from a little cutie! She wore her new Valentine shirt that Grandma sent. She knew everyone in her class was going to LOVE it and want to touch it. We did our best at heart hair and we sent her off to school SO excited. I can't even say how much I love her. She's so refreshing. She's fun and loves life. She's the girl you'll always want around because not only is she kind, she's fun and happy and positive and always looking to make others happy. She doesn't care what people think about her. She dresses how she wants and doesn't care about matching. I love that about her. She truly marches to the beat of her own little happy drum. 

I'm Baaack!

      This is it. This is me starting over on the whole blog thing. For Christmas Mike printed my blog and I loved it SO much. I loved reading over some of the most random things and reliving so many of those Florida moments. Since we left Florida I've been terrible at documenting anything on the blog. In Florida, most everyone I loved was across the country so I loved keeping them updated. After moving closer to family I didn't feel the need to document like I had before because it seemed like they knew everything that was going on. It wasn't like I quit cold turkey and missed life's moments altogether. I have a journal for me, one for Mike & I together and one for each of the kids. I'm a documenter. I want to remember every moment. I love it. I was trying to record so many things in so many different ways that I wasn't doing a great job at any of them. I've decided to relight the fire here mostly for the thoughts and words I want my children to be able to read one day. I hope that each of them can take something different from each experience and learn from it. Learn from my mistakes, our mistakes, the things we think we have figured out and the things we certainly don't. I'm going to lay it all out there. I'll give them what they may not think is fun to hear but may appreciate one day. They love reading the things I've written about them as babies. They think their baby years are so funny. Honestly, I had forgotten about many of those deviant baby moments. Here's to all those moments. Baby moments, growing moments, dumb moments, happy moments and fun moments.  Here it is, so I don't forget a thing. Words for my babies. Blog, take two.

Newport Beach, CA. November 23 2016                                   SLC Temple December 30th, 2016